Coping is NOT living.

When I heard someone say this the other day, I almost broke down crying. This simple 4 word statement resonates so much with my life, I just had to share. 

So many people in my life tell me that I "just have to get through the next day". What they don't understand, that this makes me feel terrible. I don't want to just get through life. Just surviving the day sounds like a terrible way to go through life. I want to live, not just be alive. I want to love, succeed, be happy, and have new experiences. I want life to be an adventure. Merely surviving, to me, sounds worse than death. One day at a session with a therapist at my school I asked him if I could ever actually be free to live. He understood what I was asking and answered point blank that many in my position will live their lives just getting through the day. Even though that wasn't exactly about my specific situation, I understood what he was implying. I never went back to another session with him after that. I need someone to tell me that everything will be alright. I need for people to believe that I can accomplish more than survival, that I can thrive. I need hope. Without hope, I start heading toward depression, which no one ever wants to experience. 

We all need a little hope to remind us that we are so much more than beings that just exist. We have so much to offer, and although each of us has our own obstacles to overcome, we all have the potential to be great. Coping is not living, and everyone deserves to truly live.

Med change

So quite a bit has changed in the past few weeks. The big one is that I changed meds. I am now on Abilify, and so far, so good. Instead of making me tired all the time, like the Risperdal did, Abilify gives me energy and makes me a little wired. Sometimes its a little too much energy, and makes me incredibly impatient. Also, at first it was difficult to control my anger, but that's getting better now. But the pros of Abilify definitely outweigh the cons. Haven't struggled with weight gain at all (have actually lost some weight), am productive most of the time, and just feel like myself again. Here's to hoping everything continues to work out!