Why are we here, alive, just to suffer? I think we're supposed to be on this earth to be happy, and that's what I tell myself to why suicide is not the answer. Happiness is difficult to come by, and even more difficult to hold onto, but its worth all of the shit we have to endure in life. Happiness is like a glow that comes from within and slowly fills up your entire body. Fleeting as it may be, that stable, warm light is much better than any mania I've ever experienced. Mania is like a rollercoaster: fast, exciting, but you don't want to ride it forever. Happiness is like a hug: safe, comforting, and most of all stable, like an anchor.
I've had a bad couple of weeks (surprise surprise), but I'm starting to realize that although I am depressed, its not all the illness. I have some responsibility, and although it may be near impossible, I need to get off of my butt and do something with my life. The first step is of course making sure I take my meds everyday.
